Introduction

I have wanted to share my brother's story for a long time. He is a trailblazer, or perhaps more accurately, my parents were trailblazers in the movement to keep special needs kids at home with their families after birth. John was born in 1960, a time when almost no middle class parents kept kids like him at home. Somehow, my mother knew that his potential could only be maximized by his living at home with his parents and three sisters. And so he did. I know it was really hard for many people, but it was never hard for me.
He was born about a month early and I've been told it was a very difficult birth for my mother. There were no sonograms in 1960, so no one knew in advance that he had a very large head, even for an achondroplasiac dwarf. Despite the best efforts of the doctors, his brain was damaged during birth, leaving him mentally retarded. Friends and family members recommended that John be institutionalized for the 'good' of my sisters and me, but my mother was resolute and home he stayed.
I cannot imagine what my life would have been like had John not been in it. I created this blog to share with others the joy and pain I have experienced as the sibling of a special needs person and to let others know of the tremendous success my hero has achieved.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Successfulness

I think my brother is wonderful and I admire him tremendously, but that's not the reason I wanted to write about him. I have met several parents of disabled kids over the years, both informally and as a guest speaker to parent groups, and have noted that these parents share one overriding concern -- that their children will be lost, lonely or even homeless after they (the parents) have died. Sadly, both of our parents are dead. John, however, is happy and healthy and even planning a Christmas party for friends to be held Saturday night!

When he was born, he was pronounced "uneducable" and my parents were told they'd be lucky to successfully toilet train him. Today, he lives in his own apartment, does his own grocery shopping and cooking,holds a job that he really enjoys and has an enormous support group that lends him a hand when he needs one. He is comfortable with himself -- comfortable asking for help, comfortable lending a helping hand to others and able even to handle the medical emergencies he's faced. Is he an incredible success? Yes -- totally. The kid you love can be too.
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