Introduction

I have wanted to share my brother's story for a long time. He is a trailblazer, or perhaps more accurately, my parents were trailblazers in the movement to keep special needs kids at home with their families after birth. John was born in 1960, a time when almost no middle class parents kept kids like him at home. Somehow, my mother knew that his potential could only be maximized by his living at home with his parents and three sisters. And so he did. I know it was really hard for many people, but it was never hard for me.
He was born about a month early and I've been told it was a very difficult birth for my mother. There were no sonograms in 1960, so no one knew in advance that he had a very large head, even for an achondroplasiac dwarf. Despite the best efforts of the doctors, his brain was damaged during birth, leaving him mentally retarded. Friends and family members recommended that John be institutionalized for the 'good' of my sisters and me, but my mother was resolute and home he stayed.
I cannot imagine what my life would have been like had John not been in it. I created this blog to share with others the joy and pain I have experienced as the sibling of a special needs person and to let others know of the tremendous success my hero has achieved.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Love

I try to be an open-minded person most of the time but I am acutely aware that I am a miserable failure at being opened-minded about my brother. If you meet him and don't admire him, you won't last long in my life.

Obviously, my husband of 23 years is one of John's most ardent fans. When we decided to get married, his mother asked me whether John's "condition" was inherited. The question took me by surprise as I would not have considered getting married without discussing the issue with Tag and his family had that been the case. When I mentioned this conversation to Tag I again was surprised -- stunned really -- when he told me he had wondered the same thing. He added, "Kat, it doesn't matter to me -- either way I want to marry you and I want John to be my brother-in-law". Any question I may have had about my choice of mate dissipated with that comment. As usual, John helped me to uncover the truth -- in this instance, that there isn't a finer man on the planet.
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